Jobs suck. You’re a creative human who doesn’t want to be put in a box.

Holy shit, how did he know that?

Because you’re me. I’m you. We’re creatives and we’re special.

So listen up.

You don’t want a job

Say it. Be honest.

You. Don’t. Want. A. Job.

You want money. You want security. You want to know where your next meal is coming from. You want a future for yourself or your family.

If you seriously wake up every morning saying to yourself:

“I’m so excited to sell hours of my life for less than they’re worth!”

Go read something else.

For everyone…

Recently, a 16-year-old was shot by police. The video is understandably upsetting, especially given the alleged backstory, which goes as such:

A 16-year-old girl was being bullied. She called the cops for protection and when they arrived they shot her.

Sounds terrible, right?

That’s where most people stop. That’s enough info for anyone who’s ready to be angry. In fact, a quick look at twitter and you’ll see that most people refuse to even watch the video before forming an opinion.

A little girl called the cops and they shot HER! That’s all we keep hearing from social media. …

I’ve been working a lot.

“A lot” doesn’t really cut it. I’ve been working too much.

I haven’t run myself down or anything. On the contrary, I’ve never seen so much success with my writing. I’m having a great time and thoroughly enjoying myself, but I’m admittedly caught up in the whirlwind of my mini-stardom (or, it feels like stardom. Let me have this one.)

My wife isn’t having such a great time. In the past few days she’s made it apparent that hearing about my sub-dollar earnings on Medium won’t make her problems any better. …

What factors into how much you get paid for a minute of your reader’s time?

That’s the question I sat down to answer when I analyzed two of my most-read articles to find out what made them tick. I dissected the stats for each article and finally found an answer to the question:

How much is a minute really worth?

What do the numbers say?

First, we have to set aside the similarities. Similar numbers are noisy — they get in the way of the finer differences between two things — so we…

So it’s time to do some tazin’ eh? Well, go ahead, grab your taser!

Which one is the taser? I’m glad you asked!

It’s easy to get confused in high-stress situations, so here’s a quick guide to help you get familiarized with which is which.

1. Guns are heavy

When in doubt, weigh it out! A taser weighs about as much as a toy gun.

If the thing in your hand weighs more than a plastic toy gun, stop and think!

1. Am I about to murder an innocent person?
2. Will this cause a race riot?
3. Am I going to end up in court and…

Medium is great. I love it. It’s the best…

Is Ev Williams still listening? No?

Medium is alright, but it’s got one major flaw that becomes more and more apparent the longer you write here. The views and exposure are great, but the very thing that pads our pockets could be breaking the bank.

Introducing The Paywall™

Everyone knows that Medium is paywalled. Especially people who don’t use Medium and don’t pay the $5 a month to access unlimited articles.

This includes random people all over the internet with eyes that you need for your work to take off. You can get around…

Over the past 20 years, salad use has skyrocketed.

Experts say the salad we’ve got today is much stronger than the salad of the past. Manuf Syense, Chief Salad Expert at TopIngs Foods had this to say:

“The greens of today are stronger than ever. With advances in genetic engineering and soil quality, we’ve seen a ten-fold increase in the level of vitamins and minerals contained in your average bowl of salad, and that’s before we even consider dressing.”

Nobody is concerned about salad-choosing adults, but parents are quite worried about their teenagers getting into the dark underbrush of salad…