Are You Holding a Glock or A Taser? Here’s how To Tell!

I know they’re confusing — this should help

So it’s time to do some tazin’ eh? Well, go ahead, grab your taser!

Which one is the taser? I’m glad you asked!

It’s easy to get confused in high-stress situations, so here’s a quick guide to help you get familiarized with which is which.

1. Guns are heavy

When in doubt, weigh it out! A taser weighs about as much as a toy gun.

If the thing in your hand weighs more than a plastic toy gun, stop and think!

  1. Am I about to murder an innocent person?
  2. Will this cause a race riot?
  3. Am I going to end up in court and on national news for this?
  4. Am I actually holding a gun and not a taser?

2. Your gun is on your dominant side

Okay, I hear you loud and clear.

“It’s a tense situation! What if I still get confused?”

Great question! This is why we train. Throughout your time in the police academy and later on in the force, you’ll train with your gun and taser in the same exact spot every single time. It’s always on your dominant side.

Whatever side you reach for first is your real gun!

3. A taser is brightly-colored and shaped nothing like a real gun.

Okay, so it kind of looks like a real gun, I know. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, though! Normal guns are super boring and not as fashionable or bright as a taser. One way you can tell if you’re holding a taser is to scan your field of view for anything that’s bright yellow.

If you see something bright yellow, you got yourself a weapon that won’t kill the person you’re pointing it at. Good on ya!

If you meant to grab your taser but you don’t see anything yellow, STOP!

You’re probably holding a real gun!

That’s it!

When you’re in charge of life or death situations, it’s critical to ensure that you’re in control at all times. Simply double checking which side you’re drawing from can save someone’s life or prevent your partner from dying.

And look, at the end of the day these are suspects we’re dealing with. If you make a mistake and oh I don’t know…

Accidentally shoot someone with a gun instead of a taser…

You’ll get a paid vacation while the victi.. I mean suspect’s family pays for a funeral. No stress.

Recently, another young black man was shot by a police officer.

This time, they didn’t even try to pretend that he did something wrong. All we get this time is an “oops” and I’m not sure whether it’s better or worse.

At least they didn’t already find reasons to justify his murder.

On the flip side, I can already see the tearful courtroom testimony about how this officer’s life is ruined because she’s not dead and a young man is.

They’ll let her off with a warning, fire her from the department and give her a job somewhere else. That is, if we don’t get slapped in the face by having to pay for her healthcare for the rest of her life a la the Daniel Shaver incident.

If this type of thing upsets you and makes you unfollow me, so be it. I have a platform and thus a responsibility to make a statement. Sorrynotsorry.

No plugs here, just a reminder that American police are allowed to kill you and they always get away with it. They come in two flavors: violent thug with a gun or incompetent fool with a gun. Both are dangerous.

Watch out.
Tell your kids.
Tell your friends and family.
Do what they say or you die.

RIP Daunte Wright.

Perpetual life-improver. Data lover. Author. Nerd. Capable of anything he puts his mind to. So are you.

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